That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
