i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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