I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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