You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
