I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize