We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We are two peas in an std pod
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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