I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
