Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
