Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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