Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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