hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
