Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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