I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
