also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
