Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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