i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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