Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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