I didn't shave. On purpose
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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