dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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