also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
