ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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