omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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