Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Never joke about your clitoris.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
