dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
