Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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