i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
