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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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