and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
