At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
