Plan B is the new Plan A
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
