Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
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Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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