I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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