I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
