So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
God I need to hump something, right now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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