I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
