That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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