My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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