No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
