i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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