I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
