I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
