am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
