Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
