Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
