This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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