Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
