After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
