Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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