yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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