why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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