We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do vagina's smell?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
