so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
