ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
