a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
