Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
