dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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