Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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