No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
no you cant smoke seaweed
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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