Pants 0. Shit 1.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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