at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
