O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
