So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
True college students do jello shots in the library
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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