When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
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Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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