TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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