I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
