Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
