A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
