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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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