Your face is a jimmy john
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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