normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
